Available on: PC (Steam, Epic Games Store)
Everything is Crab is the latest evolution of action roguelikes, where the goal is simply surviving to the end of each progressively challenging run. But instead of collecting weapons and powerups, we’ll be evolving and physically transforming our cute little blob-guy into an awesomely efficient, or hilariously ridiculous, mutant monster.
Read on for our review of Everything is Crab!
Evolutionary
Every run of Everything is Crab begins more or less the same: with our ambitious blue blob-guy named Darwin. He can’t do much more than scoot around and knock into other creatures. But after eating a few fruits (or dead bodies), I “level up,” and unlock my first evolution.
Everything is Crab features over 100 different real-world evolutions, each with multiple levels and rarities. More Eyes improves our sight radius, Horns adds a charging attack, and Plated offers damage resistance. Only two attacks can be equipped at any one time, balancing our offensive capabilities with passive benefits.
I’m particularly impressed by the variety and depth of evolutionary upgrades, and how these real-world evolutions translate into effective gameplay bonuses. For example, Cheek Pouch allows me to swiftly scoop up and store food, so I can keep running while I eat. Ruminant simply adds to my evolutionary progress meter at regular intervals, while Whining has a chance to charm enemies who attack me, turning them into allies.
As a fun little bonus, each evolution includes a nice little real-world animal fact.
Sometimes when I reach the highest level of a trait, I unlock a specialization. The Beak attack specializes into a Sharp Beak, which pierces enemy armor, or a Long Beak, which can dig up burrowed enemies.
I have to defeat (or evade) the first boss before I get my first major branching evolution. These are the highest rarity picks, and represent huge leaps forward in my build — sometimes literally if I pick Legs! Other options include Tentacles, Alpha, and Wings, though sadly I don’t actually fly but instead gain additional speed bonuses.
Those big evolutions aren’t mutually exclusive, though evolutions often unlock or ban others. For example, I’ll need Arms before I can get unlock Pincers. And yes, I do try to go crab whenever I can, but usually I end up with some terrifying monstrosity that only a mad scientist could love.
A Gregarious build leans toward social and charming skills
Biological Arms Race
The pixelated world doesn’t sit idly by, waiting for me to grow stronger. Mutant creatures like blob-fish, flying dogs, and hippo-turtles are also competing for food. And just like the real world, my prey and predators are largely determined by my own evolutionary journey.
The Turtoids have thick shells and pack a punch; I avoid them unless I have an armor-piercing peck attack, or venomous sting. And forget trying to chase-down those silly Hatbirbs unless I’m equally speedy.
Unfortunately, after only a handful of runs I think I’ve seen all the varieties of main enemy creatures, and there’s only about a dozen. They have upgraded versions, but those are the same, too, leading to a lot less variety than I was hoping for. I either want purely random chaotic-nonsense creatures, or a lot more varieties of predesigned critters with interesting features and abilities.
Bosses also tend to repeat themselves, briefly transforming my big world into a smaller arena. They can put up a nasty challenge, especially if I’m not specced to do a lot of damage. There is an option to simply wait them out, and they’ll retreat, but it seems far more challenging to avoid their attacks for so long.
Despite my hideous appearance, I’ve charmed an army to take on the final boss
Upon successful completion of Pressure 1, I start unlocking additional game modes. Each completed run unlocks the next Pressure, which is the main game mode, but growing slightly harder, all the way to Pressure 20.
I can also play Challenges. Challenges provide a specific scenario, such as surviving a single, harsher biome (such as endless desert), or not seeing your evolutionary picks, or surviving without a single attack evolution.
And finally there’s my starting genetics, which can help determine what kind of build I’m going for. Grandiose, for example, grants better evolutionary rarities the larger I am — and Darwin can get hilariously gigantic with the right evolutions in place (which admittedly doesn’t look great with pixel art!).
There’s also gene splicing, letting me combine two different starting genetics for some interesting combos, but I hope they add more starting genetic options in the future.
The first challenge puts you into an endless desert biome
The Rating
Everything is Crab is rated E10+ with Crude Humor and Fantasy Violence. See our Game Picker entry for details.
The Takeaway
While not exactly the pure Spore creature-stage experience I still long for, Everything is Crab is a cleverly designed roguelike with a satisfying biological twist. The evolutions are the best part of the game, offering tons of fun options and branching paths — though it’s perhaps a bit too easy to re-roll and get the ones you want. On the flip side, the enemies and game world could use some more love — more enemies, more biomes, and more points of interest would help alleviate the repetition from repeated runs.
Let us know what you think of our Everything is Crab review on social media, and sign up for our weekly newsletter!
